MY SHADOW'S SHAPE
a collection of verse by Richard Thompson

RAZZLE DAZZLE

Razzle Dazzle
The Magic Man
Lives out back
In a garbage can,
With his dog named Abra,
His cat, Cadabra,
A grand piano
And a candellabra.
With his serving man
Whose name is Stan,
And his limo driver,
A girl named Ann,
A genie named John
From Samarkand,
An armadillo
And a three-piece band.
With his seven lovely children
Who do magic as well,
And his wife, Suzanne,
Who can cast a spell...

Yes, Razzle Dazzle,
Despite the smell,
Is doing really,
Rather well.
Razzle Dazzle's
A happy man
Living there
In his garbage can!

I hear you say:
"Enough! Enough!
No garbage can
Can hold that stuff!"

And I understand
Your sad confusion...
But...
A magician's life
Is ALL illusion...

****

NEIGH

If one day
To the horse you say:
"Horse, dear horse,
Won't you please come play?"
And the horse says: "Neigh!"
Don't go away,
He doesn't mean, "Nay!"
Though it sounds that way.
The horse's "Neigh!"
Is the horse's way --
To say to you:
"Howdy do,
and good, good day!

Of course, my friend,
I'd love to play!"

*****

FANG'S GANG

Here is Fang.
And here's Fang's Gang.
And here's the song
That Fang's Gang sang:

Twang, twang, bang-a-lang
BANG!
Zing-zang, wing ding dang!
Ching chang, bang-a-lang
BANG! Woo bop, bee bop
Fling-flung-flang!
Twang, twang, bang-a-lang
BANG!

That's the only song
That Fang's Gang sang.

THANG GOODNESS!

*******

THE INFAMOUS IDIOTS THREE

Blithering, Blathering, Blooming,
The infamous Idiots Three,
Invited the Bishop of Bluster,
To, please,
Come join them for tea.

Blithering Idiot
Put salt in the tea,
Blathering loudly broke wind.
Blooming, he sat
On the bishop's big hat,
And he grinned,
And he grinned,
And he grinned.

Blathering Idiot
Barked like a dog,
Blithering champed when he chewed.
Blooming's glass eye
Fell into the pie,
And he booed,
And he hooed,
And he hooed.

The Bishop of Bluster,
He ran out the door,
And he vowed to return
To that place nevermore.
And he's never returned, To share crumpets and tea
With...
Blithering, Blathering, Blooming,
The infamous Idiots Three.

********

OH, BOTHER!

Oh, bother!
My brother,
He ate all the bread.
I'll have to have broccoli
For breakfast instead.

Broccoli's not bad
If it's boiled in jam,
And served up with hashbrowns,
And bacon and ham.
Broccoli and bran flakes
Is okay as well;
Or broccoli and oysters
Still in their shells...

But buttered brown bread
For breakfast is best.
But...
Oh, bother!
My brother,
That bothersome pest...
Like I said,
He ate all the bread...

******

CHICO CHIHUAHUA

Chico Chihuahua, you chewed up my shoes!
Chico Chihuahua, that's very bad news!
You must break yourself
Of this horrible habit,
Or I'll trade you in
For a fish or a rabbit!
Chico Chihuahua, you choose!

*******

THE CLIMBING WALL

Clinton climbed
The climbing wall,
Clung on tight,
Afraid to fall.

He clung tight to
That concrete cliff,
His bones were set,
His muscles stiff.

His fingers cruelly,
Clutched and clawed,
His brain went clang,
His stomach gnawed.

He clamped his jaw,
He clenched his teeth,
Fearful of
The space beneath.

Clinton climbed
The climbing wall...
That was sometime
Late last fall.

He clings there
To this very day...
Tomorrow is
The first of May!

*****

A CHROMIUM CRAFT FROM
CRAZOPIA PRIME

A chromium craft
From Crazopia Prime
Crashed in the creek
At dinner time.

A curious critter
Crawled from the wreck,
Crept 'cross the lawn
And up on the deck.

This clammy crustacean
Opened the door,
And clacked like a crab
'Cross the kitchen floor.
It made a sound --
A sort of a "Snork!" --
Jumped on the table,
And picked up my fork.

It ate up my chicken --
All juicy and crisp --
Crumpled its crown
And said with a lisp:

"I like the food!
I think that I'll thtay!"
And it started to change
In this real creepy way.
With crinkle and crackle,
With bubble and hiss,
The alien creature
Turned into... this...

Have you met my little brother?

******

EENSIE WEENSIE

Eensie Weensie made a meal,
A feast that was fit for a queen.
"I declare this spread," Teeny Weenie said,
"Is the finest I've ever seen!"

A grain of rice,
A radish slice.
A single pea-green pea...

Teeny Weenie clapped his hands
And danced around with glee.
"But, Eensie Weensie," the wee man said,
"You've made enough for three!"

*****

WHEN AN ELEPHANT COMES

When an elephant comes
From an elephant egg,
At first he's smooth
And pinkly.
But if he gets wet,
Your shiny new pet,
Will turn all grey
And wrinkly.

*********

DIVING

Fly!
Flip!
Flip!
Flip!
Flash!
Slice the water
With hardly a splash!

Flying...
Flapping!
Flapping!
Flapping!
Belly FLOPPING!
Leave the watchers
Sitting sopping...

*****

THE BILL OF FARE

Freda read the bill of fare,
Saw these items listed there:

FROG SPAGHETTI
FRICASSEE FROG
FROG FRITTERS
FROGS ON A LOG
FROGS AU GRATIN
FROG FRITTATA
FROGS ON PIZZA
FŒROGS IN BATTER
FROG SALAD
FROG STIR-FRY
FROG ON A BUN
FRESH FROG PIE

Freda frowned
And fussed
And shook her head,
Turned to Frank and sadly said:

"Frank, tell me frankvly -- What it would take,
To get a girl
A bit of snake!"

*****

LEAKY

The drain pipe is leaking.
The drops go plop!
drip... drop...
drip... drop...
plop... plop... plop...

I'll be driven quite insane,
If this dreary, dripping rain,
Doesn't -- drip... drop...
plip... plop...
plop... plop --
STOP!

plip... drip...
plop... drop...
I'm going soggy in the brain
From the drip-drop-dribble
Of that leaking drain!

plip... drip...
drip... drop..
What is this I hear?
drop... plip...
The sun is out...
plip... And the sky is finally clear!

plop...

Now that's it not raining,
I could fix that leaking drain.
But -- hey! -- it might be weeks
Before it rains like this again!

*******

GREGORY GRENVILLE GREY

Gregory Grenville Grey --
Also know as (A.K.A.):
Grubby Greg
Gritty Greg
Grimy Greg
Greasy Greg
Grotty Greg
and
Grungy Greg --
Said water and soap made him itch
. He turned early to crime,
He saved every dime,
And became what they call "filthy rich".

******

HARRY AND HUGH

Ha! Ha! Ha!
Hee! Hee! Hee!
Horrible Hugh
Is just like me.

Har! Har! Har!
Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Hairy Harry's
Just like you.

Hugh and Harry,
Just like other ordinary
Everyday and just plain folk.
Love to laugh.
Love to joke.

Hugh and Harry...
Yes, they're ogres,
That is true.
But ogres
Can be jolly too.

Hoo! Hoo! Hoo!
Hee! Hee! Hee!

They've invited
Me for tea.

Har! Har! Har!
Ho! Ho! Ho!

But I don't think
That I will go.

********

ITTY-BITTY KITTY

Itty-bitty Kitty
licked a lemon pop.

"Itty-bitty Kitty,"
said the kitty's mommy, "Stop!"

Itty-bitty Kitty
kept licking on that sucker.

Itty-bitty Kitty
got stuck, stuck, stucker!

****

THE KING OF THIN

When they come to pick a King of Thin,
Boney Bob is bound to win.
Yes, I know 'cause it's well known,
That Rakethin Jake's all skin and bone.
But Boney Bob is even thinner,
And I think he should be the winner.
Boney Bob's so very thin...
That gaunt guy has got no skin!

*****

THE THING THAT
MAKES IT DING

This little thing
Goes ding! ding! ding!
If you look inside
You'll see a spring.
The spring's the thing
That makes it ding.
Don't remove the dinger spring,
Or the little thing will lose its ding.
And I've no use
For a dingless thing.

*******

OKEY DOKE

Okey Doke is an old cowpoke,
And Pokey is his pony.
They ride the plains
In the sun and rain...
Get paid in macaroni.

Okey Doke, he loves to joke,
And Pokey plays the trumpet.
They sit at night
In the campfire light,
And dine on toasted crumpets.

Okey Doke, he does not smoke,
And Pokey drinks no coffee.
But.. when day is through,
And they've et their stew,
They'll share a hunk of toffee.

Okey Doke is real soft spoke,
And Pokey's kinda shy.
They never know
Where they're bound to go,
But they get there by and by.

Okey Doke is sure fine folk,
And Pokey, he's the best.
No finer pair
Can you find out there
Where the east becomes the west.

**********

NAOMI'S NEWT

Naomi nagged and nattered
Till her Nanny bought the newt.
"Nanny!" cried Naomi.
"He is awfully, awfully cute!
A newt is nice,
A newt is neat,
A newt's a nifty critter!"

"No, it's not!" her Nanny cried,
When the naughty newt, he
Bit her.

******

NEW GNU, OLD GNU

A French gnuologist
I once knew
Told me this
About the gnu:

When his teeth
Are strong and white,
A new, young gnu
Has a terrible bite.

But an old gnu's teeth
Get badly worn.
He can't eat nuts,
And he can't eat corn.

That's why --
According to an old gnu law --
An aged gnu Is called a gna.

***********

PLUTO

Pluto is a planet
On the very edge of space,
A puny little planet,
And a most unpleasant place.

With plastic plants
And plastic ants
PLum coloured trees
And platinum bees.

With no platypi
And no apple pie.
With no place to stay in
And no parks to play in.

Pluto is a planet --
Well, more an asteroid --
And Pluto is a place
That a person should avoid.

***********

PRIDE AND PIGGISHNESS

Previously on
PRIDE AND PIGGISHNESS,
Prince Pretzel of Prussia
Proposed to
Pretty Prunella Prindingle,
The toast
Of the city of Prague.

In this week's episode,
Pretty Prunella prays
For the safe return
Of her precious, purloined pearls,
And
The Prince proceeds to hire
Prague's premier private detective,
Professor Prescott Dehog.

Stay tuned for previews
Of next week's episode of
PRIDE AND PIGGISHNESS
In which
Pretty Prunella kisses a frog,
Professor Dehog gets lost in the fog,
And Prince Pretzel gets chased
By a very large dog.

********

MY SHADOW'S SHAPE

My shadow's shape shifts
As the sun slides by.
It's short at noon
When the sun is high.
It's long in the morning
When she shouts: "All rise!"
And it's long in the evening
When she shuts her eyes.

******

SNIFFLE, SNUFFLE, SNEEZE

sniffle, snuffle,
sniffle, snuffle,
sniffle, snuffle...
SNEEZE!
Think...
When you huffle,
and snuffle,
and puffle...

What horrid, wet stuffle
Come out of your nose
When you
SNEEZE!

And cover your sneezer,
Poor dripper, poor wheezer,
Cover your sneezer,
OH, PLEASE!

*********

STREGA STELLA'S STEW

Strega Stella stirs her stew... A sort of stinky, stegosaurus brew.
Stella adds a thing or two:
Stripe of skunk, and stick of glue,
Stale of bread and smell of shoe...
Says: "This stew must be my very best,
For I await a special guest."
Strega Stella stirs her stew,
Which steams a slimy, sickly blue...
Strega Stella stirs her stew,
And waits, and waits,
My friend, for you.

******

THELMA HAD A THIMBLE

Thelma had a thimble,
Thelma had some thread.
Theo had a needle.
"Thelma," Theo said,
"Let me use your thimble,
Let me use your thread,
And I will use my needle,
To sew a pillow for your head."

"Thank you, Theo," Thelma thought,
As she went to sleep that night.
"Not too thick, not too thin...
This pillow is just right!"

*********

I'M GOING ON A TRIP

I'm going on a trip...
By logging truck as far as Tuk,
By trimaran to Ketchikan,
By trawler boat to Terre Haute,
By pony trap to Trapper's Gap,
By trolley car to Zanzibar,
By 'lectric tram to Surinam,
By walking trail to Yak and Yale,
By camel trek to Old Quebec,
By bullet train to France and Spain,
And tracking back...
To home again.

********

AUTOMATICALLY UGLY

Said Doug:
"A bug is
Automatically ugly.
It's what makes
A bug a bug!"

Said Doug:
"A bug ´is
So utterly ugly,
It will never
Get a hug!"

But before you decide
To say "Ugh!"
To a bug,
You should know,
That the one who said it's so --
This Doug --
Is just a common garden slug.

********

THE WHATCHAMACALLIT

Wanda won
A whatchamacallit
At the Wishing Well
At the Fair.

She had no notion
What it did
But Wanda didn't care.

Where was it made?
What did it do?
Did it make noise?
Why was it blue?
When will it start?
How does it stop?
Where was the bottom?
Where was the top?

Wanda didn't have a clue
What her whatchamcallit was,
And Wanda didn't really care,
Because, because, because...

Her brother didn't have one --
What a sad, unfortunate kid --
Her brother didn't have one,
And lucky Wanda did.

RICHARD THOMPSONTHE STORY VINE