It was a gathering of the learned men of the city -- a time to mingle, to sip wine, to exchange ideas, to debate weighty issues, this to be followed by a great feast. Now it was time for the feast.

When the servant filled the Hodja's bowl with soup, the Hodja nodded his thanks and murmuring the words -- "Honored Guest, enjoy!" -- he poured the soup into the right hand pocket of his fine coat.

He spooned lentils and rice into another pocket. He stuffed several pieces of chicken up one sleeve and a loaf of bread up the other. He filled the breast pocket of his coat with olives. All the while smiling, nodding, saying: "Honoured Guest, you must try this." "Honored Guest, eat... eat..." "Honored Guest, allow me to suggest the pheasant."

Finally, the Physician could restrain himself no longer. "Hodja!" he exclaimed. "Have you gone mad? Why are you filling the pockets and sleeves of your coat with food? It makes no sense!"

"Indeed," said the Hodja, "it makes very good sense."

"Explain it then!" challenged the Mathematician, who had also been watching the Hodja's strange behavior with mounting alarm.

"Well, you see..." said the Hodja, "I returned later than I had expected this afternoon from a long journey. Against my wife's advice, I didn't take time to change out of my dusty travelling clothes, because I wanted to get to this gathering early, so that I could enjoy the time before the meal, the time set aside for mingling, sipping wine, exchanging ideas, debating weighty issues."

"But, strangely enough, though the Priest spoke to the Astronomer, neither would speak to me. When the Librarian told a witty story to the Court Composer, and I joined in the laughter, they both turned away looking quite embarrassed. And when I spoke to the Navigator, he seemed not to hear me at all."

"And worse, no one offered me wine..."

"It occurred to me that, perhaps, I had been rash to ignore my wife's good advice, so I left the gathering, went home and changed into my finest coat."

"When I returned, I was offered wine almost before I was through the door. The Vizier was most congenial. The Alchemist asked my opinion on the transformative properties of powdered almandite. The Poet laughed at my jokes."

"Then it was time to eat. And I thought -- and you will agree, I'm sure -- that our host had gone to a great deal of trouble and expense to create this feast and he would expect his honored guests to eat heartily and to enjoy the bounty he had provided..."

The Mathematician and the Physician inclined their heads to indicate that they did, indeed, agree.

"And as I had come to understand -- from the actions of my learned friends --who was deserving of the honor so bestowed, in accordance with the wishes of our host, I was feeding that most honored of Honored Guests: my coat. Please pass the candied dates, sir, my coat has a sweet tooth."

© 2002 by Richard Thompson

chapter twenty-six

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RICHARD THOMPSONTHE STORY VINE